Growing in Grace

The past week has been a difficult one for me emotionally. I have been up and down, fearful and at peace, distressed and rejoicing. Last Friday (just a week ago!) I began to feel quite anxious about our appointment at Clinic Scandinavia. As I think I mentioned before, I wasn't really nervous about the doctor or the facilities and care that I would receive. I was worried about our baby. My mind wandered over all the possibilities from this baby dying to having major birth defects. I tried to take these thoughts captive, but I found myself consumed and overwhelmed with fear and anxiety.

I contacted some friends to pray for me specifically about this, trying to express specifically my fears and need for God to help my unbelief. I wanted to trust Him, knowing that He gives good gifts to His children and that He is always glorified.

Monday came. We met the doctor, and we really liked her. She was thorough and kind. She did a preliminary ultrasound with something more like a flouroscope, so details were difficult to see. She even told us that she thought, perhaps, the baby was a boy, but she couldn't be 100% certain. She said that what she could see of the baby's head and spine looked good. Having looked at monthly ultrasounds of Isaiah during my pregnancy with him, I could see some differences that gave me hope as well. Not being an expert of course, I was still somewhat nervous, but God graciously calmed many of my fears.

An ultrasound with a specialist was scheduled for Thursday. In Russia everyone is a specialist in their field, so it doesn't mean all the scary things that seeing a specialist in the States might mean. Thankfully I was not as nervous last night as I had been leading up to the appointment on Monday. And when the specialist told us that our daughter's spine and head looked perfect, I couldn't hold back the tears of joy and relief.

Thank you for praying for me in my weakness. Thanks be to God for strengthening me and helping me to trust Him over the past few uncertain days. I know that had Nadezhda's body shown signs of a birth defect, we would have mourned, as we did when we learned about Isaiah's spina bifida, but then we would have rejoiced in the gift of our little girl. But I confess that I am overjoyed thatGod has given us a healthy baby. I pray that He will give her a heart for Him even now!

Knowing myself, I would imagine that certain fears will resurface for me from time to time. I would appreciate your prayers for peace and faith that God will continue to take such good care of us as He has done so faithfully.