So...

When we had lived in Russia for about 2 months, I thought that I was pregnant.  I completely freaked out!  I'm talking out and out panic, not just a little worry about how I was going to learn Russian with 2 babies that had to be carried around and wouldn't talk to me and very little foundation and not even the ability to go shopping in stores and talk to anyone who didn't also speak English and not be able to understand at church and feeling completely isolated and if I could make this sentence run on any further to express the utter racing of thoughts and flying panic that filled my heart I would.

So now I'm pregnant.  And I'm thrilled!  And by God's grace I'm not panicking.  Sure I'm thinking that learning Russian is about to get even harder.  I'm wondering how I'm going to navigate the metro with a little person who can't walk and a littler person that also can't walk.  I'm probably not going to be very mobile for a long time, at least not by myself.  I'm curious how God's going to work in my life with this new child that's currently about the size of a blueberry (thank you Baby Center for the cool info!).  I'm really tired already, but thankfully it's not the double whammy that it was when we first got back.  Now it's just pregnancy tired, which is similar to jet lag tired, but different.

My thoughts and my memory have become more and more random, or non-existent (mainly my memory there, I still have lots of thoughts).

But I'm not freaking out like I was before.  God's timing is cool like that.  Of course, if I had been pregnant when we first got here, I know that He would have helped me through that crazy panic, but I'm really glad that He worked in my heart first to prepare me to really, REALLY want to get pregnant.  And now I am.  And I'm thrilled.  Curious, but thrilled!