Dependence

Last night I dreamed that Isaiah was running around the room, and I was chasing him.  We were both laughing really hard as he ducked behind things.  He was always just beyond my grasp until the last moment when I wrapped him up in a huge hug and kissed all over his smiling face.

The dream was so real that I woke up half expecting to see Isaiah standing up on his own about to take off running.  What I did feel was my heart come up into my throat as I realized that my dream was just that, a dream.  I've had similar dreams before, and they all seem so real.  Sometimes I'm not able to go back to sleep for a little while after one of these dreams, and this morning that was the case.  But rather than worrying or crying or feeling discouraged, I remembered the song that we sing to Isaiah every time we lay him down to sleep.  I began the tradition when he was itty bitty and a terrible nurser.  I would sing this song to him to help me stay calm and to help him calm down.

Jesus, Cast a Look on Me

Jesus, cast a look on me.

Give me sweet simplicity.

Make me poor and keep me low,

Seeking only Thee to know.

All that feeds my busy pride,

Cast it ever more aside.

Bid my will to Thine submit,

Lay me humbly at Thy feet.

Make me like a little child,

Of my strength and wisdom spoiled.

Seeing only in Thy light,

Walking only in Thy might.

Leaning on Thy loving breast,

Where a weary soul can rest.

Feeling well the peace of God,

Flowing from Thy precious blood.

In this posture let me live,

And hosannas daily give.

In this temper let me die,

And hosannas ever cry.

-words by John Berridge

Isaiah is dependent on me for much of his mobility.  He is a daily reminder to me that dependence isn't a bad thing.  In fact, he helps me remember that I am dependent on God for everything.  He is a gift in many ways, even if we never play chase in the official manner.  He is usually so patient for me to come and help him; I pray that God will help me remember Isaiah's patience the next time that I am wondering what in the world is going on in my little corner of the world.