So As Not To Worry My Mother

Ok, so there are certain things that I'm learning about being pregnant in a culture not your own, and I really want to share some of the funnier things; however, some of them are a little strange, and I don't want to freak out the grandparents until they can see Nadia for themselves and know for certain that everything is ok.

But some of this is just too good to keep to myself, so I thought I'd share it with y'all.  I don't know, maybe it's one of those "you had to be there" kind of things, but I hope y'all can laugh with me at least a little bit.

So here are the first few little stories:

~ The first time I went to the doctor, Thomas was able to go with me to make sure that I understood everything.  Yes, my doctor is Russian; and no, she doesn't speak English.  So, she was taking a rather thorough medical history, and everything was going well--childhood diseases, operations, etc.  Then we got to some words that neither Thomas nor I knew.  I can only imagine what our faces looked like as the doctor kept trying different ways to ask her question (and she didn't even get louder and louder!).

Finally I thought I understood that she wanted to know about my sexual partners.  After a little nervous laughter, I answered that I had only been with my husband.  But that wasn't all; she really wanted to know when I had lost my virginity (yeah, "virgin" isn't exactly one of the first words you learn in language lessons).  When we told her, after more embarrassed laughter, that our wedding night was the night, she went on and on about how wonderful that was and what good kids we are.  

~ From a friend I learned that I should not cross my legs at the knee and that I really need to eat cow tongue.

~ From a very odd lady, I learned that an ultrasound is the worst possible thing that I could do.  Somehow the ultrasound would destroy the baby's skin and cause all kinds of problems.  Her source?  Some friend of her grandmothers who had died years ago.

~ And one more from the doctor:  (I'll go ahead and translate this one for you, you're welcome.)
D:  Cristy, have you ever drunk grass?
M:  Excuse me?
D:  Grass.  Have you ever drunk grass?
M:  Um, not that I'm aware of.
Here I think she could tell that I was not about to go make myself a grass cocktail, and she reassured me that I could buy the grass in pill form.  I still haven't gotten around to that one.

That's all for now, but there are others.  I just still take a really long time to type!  Hope you can derive a little amusement from my experiences.